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I've studied metaphysics
since I was twenty-one, and that was thirty-four years ago! I have known
since I was five that I am special, connected to something higher. By
the age of twenty-one, I began my search for Divinity by visiting the
Theosophical Society in New York, numerous meditation centers in
Florida, and even a metaphysical center on a Swiss mountaintop.
At every juncture, I learned about people and their relationship to the
Divine, consciously linking their search for Divinity to my own.
My Catholic upbringing gave me much food for thought because of my
Cherokee, Awarak and African heritage. In all my years as a Catholic, I
never saw a priest or nun of color, which I consider an affront to all
children because children need to identify with their teachers and
guides.
Aside from the color dynamic, there was always hellfire and brimstone,
guilt trips and sin, the requirement for Catholic school students to
attend church every day, as well as the outright hypocrisy of a clergy
that smoked cigarettes, drank liquor, and did all the things they told
us kids not to do.
After I freed myself from Catholicism, a timely visit to a New Age book
store led me to books about Yogi philosophy, the science of breath, and
the mystics of Christianity, to name a few. These books showed me how to
take control of my inner self and to avoid concerning myself with
over-analyzing, criticizing, and coaching others.
While I gave my nine-year-old son the book,
Yogi Philosophy, and I told others
about the other books I have read, I hesitate to take on the role of
teacher, master, or guide because each of us is on her own journey to
Divinity.
When I explored Krishna Consciousness, I didn't do handouts at the
airport, but I went to the temple in Philadelphia, wore the sari,
participated in ritual, and ate food I loved. I also read the
Bhagavad-Gita, and visited the shrine of Prabupahda in New York. I
am still Krishna Conscious, although I don't partake of the ritual any
longer.
From the ages of thirty to fifty,
music served as my Divine Expression: I sang for a living. I
enjoyed performing and
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